The new album came out today, called The Great Stone War (2009, Century Media). And let's just say they turned the creativity way down, the corniness way up, and the vocalist from Terror way...present...on the record. I guess I kind of fucked the parallelism up there.
Dammit...
Overall it's a nice record, particularly if you already like them, and particularly particularly on the fifth track "Battle Scars", which is really really good. I mean, it made me sweat. I must have lost a few pounds. Plus it's the only track on the LP which is remotely brutal. Sadly.
The album is a concept about some sort of global war which basically causes some sort of cataclysmic armageddon. And two things become clear: 1. really, really listen to the first LP I mentioned, and if it were to have a concept, it would be a similar one. End of the world, war, death, comeback, redemption, blah blah blah blah blah toast blah blah; 2. they came up with the concept before writing MOST of the music (I can't say for sure about all of it), because a lot of it is arbitrary keyboard orchestral samples through breakdowns, arbitrary intros to tunes where Johnny Plague is just talking; each song seems to fit its lyrical purpose, without creating anything interesting on its own, like Decimate the Weak did.
But more simply, where are the technical guitar parts, the solos, the brutality, the stuff that puts the "death" in "deathcore." Sorry guys, still love you though, but don't ever do a track with Scott from Terror again. It just doesn't fit. Plus, he usually writes music that means something, as opposed to hackneyed overused concepts with even more hackneyed overused breakdowns. 5/10. Favorite track: Battle Scars.
But let me explain something. It seems I've let my guard down, and actually expressed an opinion, as opposed to my first, purposefully confusing, post. That's right, you've been had, I actually don't love you.
Oh, fuck who am I kidding.
I promise, no more lying. Although I still insist I'm a nudist.
God I love the internet.
Anyway, listen.
Metal is full of little subgenres and stupid people. It's sad that people can't just settle down and like what they like and let that be that. But no, some fucking bitch has to hardcore dance to Black Dahlia Murder in the middle of a crowd of people and almost hit me in the nuts. By the way, if you're reading this, said bitch, please know that...that I really don't like you.
I find it hard to be mean.
Why did that chick hardcore dance to an American black/melodic death metal band? Because the media, stupid people she probably also almost hit in the nuts at the Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza concert, and Burt and Ernie told her that makes sense. They're metalcore. Go ahead, almost hit some guy in the nuts. It's okay, he understands.
Sigh.
My point is:
Don't do what I tell you to do. I'm dumb. You're dumb. The only thing that we both know for sure is that music is sad, precious, usurping, relentless, punishing, spanglish, and altogether necessary. It's necessary to have your ears open, you're mind equally as open, you're heart even more open, and you're brain stem working properly. I could keep going to hypothalamus, but I forget what that does. I think long term memory? Maybe it has to do with the anus. I mean, what part of the brain makes me so obsessed with asses? It's gotta be that fucking hypothalamus. God. Motherfucker.
I'm done, I'm just tired now. And the new Thrice record is too amazingly distracting for me to keep going. I'm too tired of the bullshit, even Thrice gets bullshit for making amazing records.
Let's all get together. Peace to the world, and become one.
A man and a woman
Are one.
A man and a woman and a blackbird
Are one.
A man and a woman and a blackbird and Dave Lombardo
Are one.
Fuck yeah.
Goodnight beautiful.
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