Recently, I was reminded how much I really just cannot tolerate 99% of black metal. It’s the Dane Cook of the metal subgenres. Apparently if you live in any of the Scandinavian countries, rip-off Kirk Hammett’s guitar riffs and dress like a dickhead, you get massive scene points with Satan and are classified as a black metal outfit. At least that’s the way it was. More recently, a black metal act still dresses like a bunch of dickheads and calls themselves Satan’s minions, but the music has become a lot more progressive and jazzy and I frankly don’t know that if even the dark underlord himself has the attention span for 15 and 16 minute songs. The genre has also gotten away from the more mainstream “overproduction” values adopted by bands like *cough cough* Cradle of Filth, who I promise will never be mentioned again. All the black metal that comes out now sounds like it was recorded in a sewer on a Talkboy voice recorder (that is a Home Alone 2: Lost In New York reference in an article/review of black metal…an extremely high level of difficulty.) But for now I digress, because for one, I was never into any kind of black metal to begin with to really defend any one scene, whether it be the older stuff that’s scary and to the point, or the newly defined black metal that’s more progressive than black and depressing and too long for it’s own good. Secondly, I don’t listen to enough of it to truly make a valid point anyway. So honestly you can stop reading right here if you want to, because a majority of this is personal opinion backed by no fact at all other than my own taste. I hereby deny any responsibility for wasting anyone’s time. The five minutes you’ll spend reading about what I (a non-black metal fan) thinks black metal SHOULD sound like, and you’ll never get that time back. So if you’ve chose the red pill, hang tight, if you’ve chosen the blue pill, see you later (a Matrix reference…booyah.)
Going back to the point I made about older black metal, and some of the pioneers of the genre, who have guitar riffs that sound like they came from the cutting room floor of Metallica or Megadeth and at most times have very predictable drumming and lyrical content, one band sticks out in my mind that I actually did enjoy the few times I listened to them. That band is Naglfar.
In Norse folklore, the Naglfar was a ship made from the fingernails and toenails of the dead. HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT?!?!?! I’m not familiar with the whole story or really care in the first place to research it more thoroughly but it’s seriously one of the better band names out of Sweden. They began in 1992, making them one of the earlier acts in the genre. Though a higher caliber in production value, they don’t come across as just a buncha weirdos who grew up hating their parents, putting domesticated animals in the microwave and painting pentagrams on their walls with blood. They don’t overdue it with guitar solos or synthesizers which are also commonplace in black metal. It’s basically pure metal, straight and to the point and that’s probably why I actually like them.
The record that I have is called Harvest, which I’ll talk about. I’ve also heard Diabolical, Pariah, and Sheol, which are also very good albums, despite my lack of interest in delving deeper into the genre. It’s very unapologetic and to the point, without being too abrupt. They have a good balance of elements that defines black metal. The typical black metal vocals aren’t overpowering or boring, the guitars shred, without being overdone, the drums don’t really stand out but they’re not ridiculous either, and there’s a tinge of synth and violins found throughout if you listen for them, but again not overdone. The lyrics are all about the loneliness of life, the solace of death, and reminds you that it’s still cool to talk about the Grim Reaper. Naglfar keeps their music simple, and although there isn’t much that separates them from the rest of the flock, it’s this toned-down style and almost non-uniqueness that makes them listenable. I know that doesn’t make much sense to you unless you’ve heard it to know what it is I’m exactly talking about. I understand that statement makes me sound really fucking retarded and you’d assume the music gets boring, just like a majority of black metal is for me, but it really doesn’t. I’ve listened to Harvest numerous times, and I’ve provided linkage at the bottom for you to check it out yourself. I promise that Naglfar is not going to be your new favorite band, but I think in playing it safe, they’ve done black metal proper, and the new jacks can either learn a thing or two from it, or keep making their “ep”s that are an hour and a half long with 3 songs and are such poor quality it’s virtually inaudible unless you listen at full volume, which with all that noise of multiple layers of sluggish guitar, predictably followed by a solo at the speed of light, but for 5 minutes, followed by more depressing guitar sounds, just makes my head hurt. Either I REALLY don’t get it, or I have really bad taste.
Linkage: http://www.mediafire.com/?l2imko5njji
Standout Tracks: The Mirrors Of My Soul, Plutonium Reveries
Satan is a mean bastard. But he does have a quite impressive wingspan.
Davey Bx
awesome writing, awesome album, awesome spaghetti-o's
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