A Disinterested, Uninformed Opinion Of Black Metal And Why The Band Naglfar Has The Coolest Name Ever

Recently, I was reminded how much I really just cannot tolerate 99% of black metal. It’s the Dane Cook of the metal subgenres. Apparently if you live in any of the Scandinavian countries, rip-off Kirk Hammett’s guitar riffs and dress like a dickhead, you get massive scene points with Satan and are classified as a black metal outfit. At least that’s the way it was. More recently, a black metal act still dresses like a bunch of dickheads and calls themselves Satan’s minions, but the music has become a lot more progressive and jazzy and I frankly don’t know that if even the dark underlord himself has the attention span for 15 and 16 minute songs. The genre has also gotten away from the more mainstream “overproduction” values adopted by bands like *cough cough* Cradle of Filth, who I promise will never be mentioned again. All the black metal that comes out now sounds like it was recorded in a sewer on a Talkboy voice recorder (that is a Home Alone 2: Lost In New York reference in an article/review of black metal…an extremely high level of difficulty.) But for now I digress, because for one, I was never into any kind of black metal to begin with to really defend any one scene, whether it be the older stuff that’s scary and to the point, or the newly defined black metal that’s more progressive than black and depressing and too long for it’s own good. Secondly, I don’t listen to enough of it to truly make a valid point anyway. So honestly you can stop reading right here if you want to, because a majority of this is personal opinion backed by no fact at all other than my own taste. I hereby deny any responsibility for wasting anyone’s time. The five minutes you’ll spend reading about what I (a non-black metal fan) thinks black metal SHOULD sound like, and you’ll never get that time back. So if you’ve chose the red pill, hang tight, if you’ve chosen the blue pill, see you later (a Matrix reference…booyah.)

Going back to the point I made about older black metal, and some of the pioneers of the genre, who have guitar riffs that sound like they came from the cutting room floor of Metallica or Megadeth and at most times have very predictable drumming and lyrical content, one band sticks out in my mind that I actually did enjoy the few times I listened to them. That band is Naglfar.

In Norse folklore, the Naglfar was a ship made from the fingernails and toenails of the dead. HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT?!?!?! I’m not familiar with the whole story or really care in the first place to research it more thoroughly but it’s seriously one of the better band names out of Sweden. They began in 1992, making them one of the earlier acts in the genre. Though a higher caliber in production value, they don’t come across as just a buncha weirdos who grew up hating their parents, putting domesticated animals in the microwave and painting pentagrams on their walls with blood. They don’t overdue it with guitar solos or synthesizers which are also commonplace in black metal. It’s basically pure metal, straight and to the point and that’s probably why I actually like them.

The record that I have is called Harvest, which I’ll talk about. I’ve also heard Diabolical, Pariah, and Sheol, which are also very good albums, despite my lack of interest in delving deeper into the genre. It’s very unapologetic and to the point, without being too abrupt. They have a good balance of elements that defines black metal. The typical black metal vocals aren’t overpowering or boring, the guitars shred, without being overdone, the drums don’t really stand out but they’re not ridiculous either, and there’s a tinge of synth and violins found throughout if you listen for them, but again not overdone. The lyrics are all about the loneliness of life, the solace of death, and reminds you that it’s still cool to talk about the Grim Reaper. Naglfar keeps their music simple, and although there isn’t much that separates them from the rest of the flock, it’s this toned-down style and almost non-uniqueness that makes them listenable. I know that doesn’t make much sense to you unless you’ve heard it to know what it is I’m exactly talking about. I understand that statement makes me sound really fucking retarded and you’d assume the music gets boring, just like a majority of black metal is for me, but it really doesn’t. I’ve listened to Harvest numerous times, and I’ve provided linkage at the bottom for you to check it out yourself. I promise that Naglfar is not going to be your new favorite band, but I think in playing it safe, they’ve done black metal proper, and the new jacks can either learn a thing or two from it, or keep making their “ep”s that are an hour and a half long with 3 songs and are such poor quality it’s virtually inaudible unless you listen at full volume, which with all that noise of multiple layers of sluggish guitar, predictably followed by a solo at the speed of light, but for 5 minutes, followed by more depressing guitar sounds, just makes my head hurt. Either I REALLY don’t get it, or I have really bad taste.

Linkage: http://www.mediafire.com/?l2imko5njji
Standout Tracks: The Mirrors Of My Soul, Plutonium Reveries

Satan is a mean bastard. But he does have a quite impressive wingspan.

Davey Bx

It's Been a Long Time, Coming...

It's been a while.

I feel my strength returning...and uh, my free time going up a wee bit, enough at least to allow me the spare moments here and there to muster up a new post for the first time of the new year. No more procrastinating, there's work to be done, fish to be fried, in the kitchen, beans to not be burnt, on the grill, yada yada, cocaine is good.

If you're wondering whether or not I'll taking the blog in a more avant garde direction this year, I think you've just got your answer.

Anyway.

My idea for this post, as I've consistently told myself over and over and over that I would do once I finally started to write again, was to write an apology: an apology to all the great albums of 2009 I completely missed, and not only that, in hindsight, would have easily cracked my top 20 had I known of them sooner.

But I refuse to make revisions now for obvious reasons. I'm lazy. But seriously, I stand by my list, and instead of corrupting the memory of my past self's ignorance and ego-induced self-pity, I decided I'd just write a few reviews, doing what I can to bolster the fateful few I missed last year. Which unfortunately isn't much because of our low readership. So in order to gain an edge on my competitors, all the mediafire links I provide, which I claim to be authentic, are actually just all lesbian porn. Or are they? You'll have to go find out I guess. Wow...mysterious.

Let's begin at the beginning.

Animals As Leaders - s/t

So this band can be criticized in, as far as I'm concerned, one and only one way: they aren't much of a band, more just a one man show; however, not only would I resist such a criticism, but I'd say even if that criticism were warranted, the album remains one of the more utterly brilliant progressive metal releases I've ever heard. Better than Obscura? Eh, well that might be a bit of a stretch, but if they don't trump them, then I can't think of anything else that could.

The album is a crisp refreshing breath of fresh air. It mixes the standard array of genres one normally finds in a progressive release: metal of course, one's far share of jazz and world, and plenty of impressive guitar face-meltisms. But what makes it unique is, frankly, Tosin Abasi, who is the brain child/genius/originator of the project. He is a frightening player of the instrument, taking inspiration from Alan Holdsworth, modern jazz bop guitars, and guitar wanker non-musicians like Steve Vai, but fair enough: he at least turned out more than okay. In fact, his composition in the genre, his ability to meld new forms of metal which surprise ears as much as they do eyes, is phenomenal and quite unheard of most of the time, literally. I'll be honest, there are only a few progressive bands I can truly say consistently teach me new things and bring me joy, who never bore me; they would probably include Necrophagist, The Faceless, and Obscura, but as of now, head of the pack is Tosin's Animals As Leaders; for anyone who simply can't seem to get into what they feel is just a load of over-hyped, over-composed bullshit, listen to this, and subsequently change your mind.

Listen to On Impulse, probably the least technical track on the album, and which could be also its best: it is an enormous flood of for-whom-tolled bells, with both an Ezra Pound uneasiness and a William Carlos Williams serenity locked inside. It is musical catharsis, musical rootedness, musical history written right in front of your ears. Notable Tracks: CAFO, On Impulse, Modern Meat, Song of Solomon.

Amesoeurs - s/t

This band is, like Alcest, pure French deliciousness. Both bands have figured out this unique formula, which incorporates post-rock, black metal, and folk in a way I can't quite describe. It's very beautiful, and to be yet considered black metal, even if only to some qualified extent, is pretty impressive just for the black metal genre, which, let's face it, is an odd place to be musically. I mean, I suppose I'm not an expert on the black metal "scene", unless that's a misnomer already, but so far as I can perceive it, most of it is "just too much". Personally, I really like Immortal, Emperor, Behemoth, Wolves In the Throne Room, and some select others, but although all of these bands have something very unique going for them respectively, they partake in a genre which requires...well, a lot. Just think about the line between one's standard brew of death and one's standard brew of (foreign, say Scandinavian) black: I'd argue it's not so far as most would like to say. Lower vs. higher vocal style, each uses blast beats like it was their breakfast of champions, although black to an alarming (though pretty awesome) extent, and uh...I don't know, less Satan vs. more Satan?

But Amesoeurs are a completely different experience. It can certainly be heavy at times: for example, in the song, which I particularly love, "I XIII V XIX XV V XXI XVIII XIX - IX XIX - IV V I IV". (I know, right?) It drives like most black metal (with some sort of folk-twist), but suddenly, a swung cascadian march halts everything: and then you notice here, as in many other places on the record, this bands amazing ability, all too forgotten in modern music, to build, to begin with an idea, and make something new of it, with nothing but itself. It is a leftover scrap of an older jazz and jazz-rock generation, that perhaps seeped its way into the French music scene in the 1960's, when being black jazz musician in America was nothing like being one in France. There are these jazz undertones, but more predominant in Amesoeurs's unique amalgamation is the indie rock and kraut rock pleasantries, which I feel, even if you don't find indie rock appetizing a priori, if you have a taste for music that does more than just br00talize your dick off, you'll absolutely love the subtly, the classical sensibility almost, of every painstakingly deliberate note. I hear Joy Division, Venom, and The Police all souping into the gorgeous whole, not at all equal to its parts, that is this band.

I'm so overwhelmingly impressed with this band, it's difficult as fuck to contain. Please check it out and agree with me. Notable Tracks: Heurt, I XIII V XIX XV V XXI XVIII XIX - IX XIX - IV V I IV, the rest of the album.

Pelican - What We All Come to Need

So this record I "included as an honorable mention" in my earlier list, because I "listened to it thoroughly and determined it to be yet inferior to those records I happened to include on the list instead". Yeah, okay.

Basically, for that reason, my review for this record will be the apologeticest. Whatever, you get it. Did I listen to it before making my official top 20 list? Yes. Did I still only kind of listen to it though? Uh...

But this, though still behind the obvious brilliance that is Austalasia, is their best record in quite a long time, and honestly, should change exactly how much you felt you liked City of Echoes. Something very drastic has changed; they have obviously decided to return to the less-so-simple formula that produced the amazing compositional genius that is almost the entirety of their earlier work, but they have also brought a new glimpse into the stark, grimy trepidation and toil that is the characteristic sound of the "post-metal" genre. In fact I think the cause is simply this: whatever happened on City of Echoes that freed them from some sort of innate need to include layer upon layer of caustic soundscape and distortion-breeding-further-distortion sensuality never fully left; however, the net effect on What We All Come to Need is a wholly different Pelican: a love-child of the old and new, while simultaneously maintaining a freshness of composition we seem to get time and time again from such experienced, likely introspective and caring post-metal/post-music musicians, who shun the too often assumed illusory necessity for lyrical interference, among other traditional compositional methods.

Okay, so what about the actual music. If you never again even look at a Pelican record, or .mp3 file, or whatever, you must, I beg you, at least listen to the opening track on this record: "Glimmer", a 7:31 musical experience I find appropriate to compare with the sheer elation and sadness I experience from any Ravel piano piece; the sort of thing happening on a track like "Glimmer" has been happening since the dawn of Western music, at least evident in "good" Western music, and that is the use of contrast, and arguably also the element of surprise. The end of this track is the most heart-lifting momentous occasion; it is numbing and sensuous simultaneously; the oceans dry up and re-condense directly over you; there's a weight, a breath. "Specks of Light" is another good, though probably not nearly as good, example of such a phenomenon on the album. They are learning, so it seems, to take their time.

I doubt people will flatter this record to the same extent to which I just have, but I feel that's mainly because I think this record is just that difficult to listen to in a laid-back manner. It's work. It makes demands of you. To enjoy such an experience is something I've had to learn to love, and of course I'd be still lying if I said I always do enjoy it. Something I just need to hear some Agoraphobic Nosebleed and jump around like a fucking idiot. It's fun, and I think their new record, e.g., sounds good too. But that aside, if I'm as convincing as I think I am, i.e. only semi-convincing, then just try to meet their demands, and if you can't, think less of yourself. Okay, just kidding. But try, at the very least because you love me. Notable Tracks: Glimmer, Specks of Light, What We All Come to Need.

Here is a link to my mediafire page, where at you can delve into what I've so far had the time to upload to it, including however these three newly reviewed jems. Or maybe you'll just find folder upon folder of .jpegs of me baked a wedding cake. Minds will be blown.

www.mediafire.com/amostbitterseason

Remember kids, stay away from meth and Hegelian metaphysics.

Love,

Zachary